Rules For Online Dating

DATING IS DIFFERENT Recognize that this activity is not like other Internet communication you may enjoy with family, friends, co-workers, or the ThirdAge community where you are a member--and you are known. If you're "dating," you're more vulnerable.

PROTECT YOUR IDENTITY If you want total control of the information available to an online other, don't use your personal or your work-related email. (Chances are good that a Web search engine has linked your email address to your real name.)

LEARN THE TECHNOLOGY Use the kinds of Web technology that enable private communication without divulging your email. ThirdAge offers private chat rooms, for instance, and they're very user friendly.

GUARD YOUR EMAIL If you insist on using email, consider getting an account dedicated solely to your online dating activities. You can safely use web-based email. Such accounts are available at hotmail.com or through Yahoo!

DON'T REVEAL DATA Be careful about the information you give in casual conversation. An offhand reference to your neighborhood, a school experience, a job location, or a vacation can reveal more than you intend to divulge.

BE HONEST And expect honesty from your online other. Use the anonymity of the Internet to find out about each others' past experiences with intimacy. You can learn a lot by sharing your feelings and your attitude toward commitment. If you're using a dedicated email, be honest about that, too.

BEWARE OF HIGH EXPECTATIONS Sharing feelings across the Internet will accelerate your sense of intimacy, and you will be tempted to build a mental image of the other. Ask yourself: How would I feel about the other building an image of me? Talk about your expectations about the direction of the online relationship.

DEVELOP COMMON ACTIVITIES Make dates with each other to share activities, like playing online games or sharing a forum. Talk about how long you expect to communicate online before meeting.

DON'T FAKE YOUR PHOTO If you decide to swap pictures, send a current picture which is flattering, but doesn't hide or distort your true appearance. Misleading pictures are probably the leading cause of disappointments in relationships that start on the Internet.

MEET IN PUBLIC PLACES If and when you decide to meet in real life, arrange to meet in public where you will be comfortable over coffee or a casual meal. Be prepared if the meeting proves disappointing. But remember, if you've followed these rules, the least you have is someone with whom you can communicate very well.

Keeping Safe Online

I've noticed a larger than average number of online dating stories hitting the news of late discussing court cases related to online daters who abused the system and cheated someone out of money, sex, intimacy, household items, or more nefarious things I'd rather not go into here.

For instance, the Brisbane Times ran an article today about 47-year old Des Campbell, a single-parent widower who claimed to be a childless divorcee to seduce dozens of women into sexual relationships, and who is now being questioned at the inquest of his wife's death.

Although there is no way to keep yourself absolutely safe when meeting people - whether from an online dating site or a random stranger on the street - there are some tactics I'd highly recommend to anyone wanting to avoid these kinds of situations, and they all have to do with timing.

When meeting someone intially from an online dating site, many people wait too long to meet someone they feel a spark with. It's a simple concept really: the longer you wait to meet someone, the less real-world information you have about them. Body language, the tone of their voice and chemistry are all removed from the decision-making process, and in its place an element of fantasy comes into play. Instead, if you meet someone online you feel connected to, try and meet them within the week of first interacting for a quick first date.

The other issue of dating timing stems from getting to know someone too quickly and assuming information not already proven. Fiction writers know the diddy, "Show, don't tell," by heart, and you should too when meeting someone from an online dating site. Pay more attention to what your date does than what they say to get a better indication of who they are. Then, allow yourself more than enough time to really get to know a person before sharing any identifying information, such as where you work or your home phone number. Jumping into something can be a heady, exhiliarting treat, but what if the consequences far outweigh the short-term fun?

Free Online Dating Guide

Are you thinking about trying online dating but want to learn the basics before you begin? Or maybe you’ve already tried online dating, but need a quick refresher course. No matter how much experience you have, here’s your chance to learn what you need to know to succeed in the world of Internet dating. In this online dating guide, you’ll learn:

• The common fears and concerns of singles before trying online dating.

• The latest statistics on the explosive growth of online dating.

• Quick tips on getting started and how to maximize your chances of success.

• What to look out for and avoid in cyberspace to ensure a safe dating experience.

• How to write an effective, eye-catching online personal ad.

Common Fears and Worries

One thing that is common with most people when talking about online dating is they approach it with a little apprehension at first.

They ask:

• "Why am I doing this?
• “Will I actually meet someone I'll like?
• “Aren't only people who can't get dates in the real world trying online dating?"

The truth is online dating is growing and more accepted today. The reason is we all have less time. In today's lifestyle and culture people want more control in socializing. Many people are putting in more hours at work and some are even juggling two jobs leaving them little time to socialize.

This is where online dating comes in. You choose who you want to talk to and when. You have a wide selection of people to choose from, and often with their likes and dislikes right there to read. So it is easy to find people you may share interests with.

These aren't random encounters at the bar but people you have done a little research on and decided you want to know more about. Think of it like the world’s biggest singles bar, except you can do it in the privacy of your own home and take your time to read about someone and get to know them by e-mail and phone before you ever go out.

The Explosive Growth of Online Dating

Online dating is growing fast, check out these stats:

• Over $300 million is spent annually in the United States for online dating and that figure is expected to double to $600 million within the next few years.

• There are over 700 online dating sites on the Internet with new ones cropping up every week.

• More than 30 million Americans currently subscribe to at least one online dating service and International online dating memberships are growing 20% annually.

Socializing online is also increasing as internet connections speed up with DSL and broadband, and internet service providers make it easier to navigate online.

The future of matchmaking online will get more advanced and fun – with videos, live voice, and much more.

The great thing about socializing online is you can be very exact about what you like and dislike, and choose people who share those interests. You may even want to try something new by meeting someone who does something you would like to know more about. This way, you will not only meet someone new, but take part in a new activity. You might not like tennis but this person is such a good teacher that you come to enjoy not just this person's company but their sport and being around them. Online dating expands your opportunities to meet a greater variety of people.

What if I’m not looking for a serious relationship?

The beauty of online dating is you can use it to find your soulmate, a casual relationship, or just a new friend. Think of it like joining the gym. You can join the gym and work out six days a week, workout three days a week, one day a week, once a month. You get out what you put in.

There are all types of people online just as in the real world. There are people who just want to have fun and may back out at the last minute. Others may act more serious and want to find their “one true love.” Next there might be the chatty person who just wants to meet a bunch of people and not actually go on a date. Finally, the largest group is the dedicated searchers who are online to find a date and make a connection.

Secrets of Online Dating Success

When you’re ready to try online dating, there are some definite tips that can help you succeed.

Here are the top five steps you can take to maximize your chances of making an online connection.

1. Be truthful: you want people to fall in love with the real you. If you stretch the truth or outright lie, people will find out eventually. So be honest from the outset.

2. Invest quality time in your online profile: daters can tell how serious you are by the quality of your profile. Make your profile match your level of interest in dating.

3. Post a quality photo: don’t oversell yourself but at the same time don’t hurt your chances with a blurry or distant photo. Go for a flattering, realistic photo.

4. Look for people who want similar relationships: if you want to find your soulmate, don’t answer ads for people looking for a casual relationship.

5. Talk on the phone: if you’ve made an online connection, it’s tempting to jump to an in-person date. Take advantage of one or two phone calls before committing to an offline rendezvous.

Online Dating Safety Tips

While it can be exciting to jump right in and start meeting new people online, safety should definitely come first. Keep in mind these cautionary signs and safety tips to make sure your online experience is fun and danger free.

Caution Signs

• Lack of definitive answers: if you ask how old someone is, for example, and they don’t respond, they might have something to hide.

• Poor follow-up and reliability: if a prospective date doesn’t respond to an email when they say they will or fails to call you back within a reasonable timeframe.

• Picture exchange avoidance: if someone refuses to exchange photos, there’s a good chance they have something to hide.

• Over-exuberance: if your prospect is saying “I love you” right away or wants to meet immediately, proceed with caution or just walk away.

Safety Recommendations

• Meet the person in a neutral, public place, like a café or restaurant.

• Don't give out personal information (home address for instance) until you know you want to go on a date with a prospect.

• When email exchanges advance to phone conversations, pay attention to the person’s tone of voice and listening skills.

• Make sure the person you might meet has answered all your questions. If pressured to move forward, don't rush into anything.

• If you get a sense that something isn't quite right, it most likely isn't. Ask questions and see if they can erase your initial worry.

Now that you're feeling safe online, it's time to learn what it takes to write an effective personal ad.

How to Write an Effective Personal Ad

Your online profile or personal ad is the gateway to dates. You are literally marketing yourself, essentially creating a brief resume but rather than for a job, for a date or love. Take the time to craft a fun and clever ad, something that will attract the right people.

Start with a Good Alias

To begin with any dating site, you’ll need to select an alias. This should be an attention grabbing name and should give some clues to who you are and tell a little bit about yourself since this is the first thing people will see. Your alias might be funny and clever, tell something about your personality, or tell something about what kind of relationship you are seeking. It can also be more a descriptive combination, hinting at your personality and showing what kind of date you are looking for.

You could also use your alias to let people know about one of your passions or hobbies.

If you enjoy dancing you could have an alias like dancinggirl or salsaman or if you like sports you could use the alias skigirl or soccerboy.

Now Make The Alias Sell

If you say “fun girl” you will probably attract a lot of guys simply looking for a good time. So you have to think about what kind of people you want to get responses from.

You also want to stand out from the crowd, but only for the right people. You can accomplish this by referring to something that’s lesser known, except to the people you’re trying to attract. Examples include:

• Rowlinglady (referring to JK Rowling, the author of Harry Potter)

• Merylstreepwoman (communicating that you’re a fan of her movies, or people that look like the actress)

• Balicruiser (explaining that you like to travel overseas or have relatives from that area of the world)

Having a hidden reference can also give you and the person you're contacting something to chat about when first exchange messages.

Another option you have when creating an alias is to have it say something about what your like or what the dating experience might be like with you. Examples include: funlovingdude, shygirl, goodkindofbad, hittheclubs, or studiousbutfun.

Also, you could give an idea of what kind of relationship you want with aliases such as: seriouslovelady, lifelove, kindhearted, justbrokeup, huggable, or justfun. Try to get creative and the bottom line in the online dating world is to have fun, express yourself, and be safe by listening to your own internal instincts.

Create an Attention Grabbing Headline on the Front Page

Most matchmaking sites will want you to write a headline for your ad. The more it intrigues people the more clicks you will get and visits to your profile. You can take a similar approach to your headline as with your alias, incorporating a little about yourself or going the clever, funny route - below are a few quick examples:

• "I'm Worth It"
• "You Won't Be Disappointed"
• "Devilish Angel"
• "Seriously Studious But Full of Fun"
• "Sunsets and Walks On The Beach"
• "Ask and You Shall Receive"
• "Scratch and Sniffable"

Finally, it's important to learn the online dating do's and don'ts to truly master the art of dating online.

The Do’s and Don’ts of Online Profiles and Internet Dating

When it comes to online dating there are definite do’s and don’ts that can either improve or reduce your chances of making an online connection.

DO Truthfully Describe Yourself

• Tell the truth about your appearance if you want the potential relationship to work out.

• If you're a little chubby say so. You may even find a great workout partner.

• If you're tall, be honest about it. You’ll find the right height for you.

• If you’re just looking to have fun, say so. Don’t claim to be marriage-minded.

DO Say Something Personal About Yourself

You can list things you like and activities you enjoy or your job and career goals but also try to give a view into the way you think or the views you hold.

You can accomplish this while still coming across clever and fun.

• "Make love not war. Let's make changes in this world. Do you agree?"

• "From a big family, want to make one together?"

• "Yes I recycle and don't eat meat but I can be bad. I'll give you a demo."

• "Like whispering in girls’ ears. Need I say more."

• "Enjoy walks. Enjoy the outdoors since I grew up near the mountains."

DO Draw Them In

You can do this by giving a general description of what you like without giving all the details. For instance, say you enjoy music with a headline lie "Love Music", instead of saying exactly what kind of music. Or if you want to be specific you can of course say, "Love Hip Hop.”

You can also add color to your descriptions. Instead of saying you enjoy traveling, say “I’ve been to five different countries in one trip.” Or you can go for the clever approach, maybe something like:

• “Speak love and two other languages”
• “Professional recreational sports star”
• “Get up and have a coffee or get up and have a juice”
• “Write back to me in two languages”
• “Just finished school. Finish this sentence: I want to have ____?”

These clever lines give a hint at your personality and at the activities you enjoy while making the initial dating process interactive and fun.

DO Express Yourself in a Positive Manner

Be polite, sincere, and positive. Say what you want rather than what you don't like. Instead of "I hate drunks", say "Can party without cocktails."

If you take the time to truly express the real you, and do so in a clear, sincere, and clever way, the prospects will start rolling in. So take the time to be original, attract the right suitors, and reward them with a sincere ad when they choose to contact you.

DON’T Do a Data Dump in Your Profile

Your online profile is not meant to read like a grocery shopping list. State a few things that you like without laundry listing every last want and desire. You’ll overwhelm your dating prospects right from the start.

DON’T Mention Past Relationships

You may be tempted to pour your heart out and explain exactly why you’re back on the singles scene. Resist the temptation or you’ll come across like someone on the rebound.

DON’T Brag or Come Across as Arrogant

There’s no reason to come right out and say you’re brilliant or hilarious. Instead, show this quality in your writing by coming across intelligent or crafting a funny ad.

DON’T Mislead Your Dating Prospects

If you mislead people, either with your photo, write-up, or even marital status, you’ll quickly get a bad reputation. If you’re serious about using online dating to find your mate then treat others as you’d want to be treated, fairly and honestly.

Now Get Out There and Date

Now that you know about the fears and concerns of online dating, the explosive growth of the industry, quick tips for getting started, what to look for and avoid in cyberspace, and how to write an effective personal ad, it’s time to get out there and date.

Follow the tips and suggestions in this online guide and you’ll be on your way to online dating success. You’ll even start converting more and more online encounters into offline dates.

The preceding article, Free Online Dating Guide, was a guest submission, provided by America's Internet Dating, The Love Spot. To learn more about this online dating site and post a free profile, visit www.americasinternetdating.com.

Source : http://dating.about.com

Net Dating Service

A Net dating service, also known as online dating or internet dating, is an example of a dating system and allows individuals, couples and groups to meet online and possibly develop a romantic or sexual relationship. Net dating services provide un-moderated matchmaking through the use of personal computers, the Internet, or even cell phones.

Such services generally allow people to provide personal information, then search for other individuals using criteria such as age range, gender and location. Most sites allow members to upload photos of themselves and browse the photos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, and message boards. Sites sometimes allow people to register for free but may offer services which require a monthly fee.

Many sites are broad-based, with members from a variety of backgrounds looking for different types of relationships. Other sites are more specific, based on the type of members, interests, location, or relationship desired.

Trends

U.S. residents spent $469.5 million on online dating and personals in 2004, the largest segment of “paid content” on the web, according to a study conducted by the Online Publishers Association (OPA) and comScore Networks.

At the end of November 2004, there were 844 lifestyle and dating sites, a 38 percent increase since the start of the year, according to Hitwise Inc. However, market share was increasingly being dominated by several large commercial services, including Yahoo! Personals, Match.com, American Singles, and eHarmony. eHarmony CEO Greg Forgatch noted that despite the growing number of sites catering to specific niches, "to become a major player, it still takes a large number of people."

In 2002, a Wired magazine article forecast that, "Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love without looking for it online will be silly, akin to skipping the card catalog to instead wander the stacks because 'the right books are found only by accident.' Serendipity is the hallmark of inefficient markets, and the marketplace of love, like it or not, is becoming more efficient"[1].

The online dating trend has also become very successful in Europe in the past decade. Not only has match.com opened local branches in European countries to cater to Europe's particular cultures and languages, but also some companies like Meetic and Easyflirt have become top sites^{[citation needed]}.

Mobile dating websites are gaining popularity. According to The San Francisco Chronicle in 2005, "Mobile dating is the next big leap in online socializing." [2] Some experts believe that the rise in mobile dating is due to the growing popularity of online dating. Analyst Brent Iadarola of Frost & Sullivan said, "I think people are more comfortable with online dating, and it's generally been accepted, the comfort people have with online dating in the wired world is now translating to the mobile world." [3] Others believe it is all about choice, as Joe Brennan Jr., vice president of Webdate [4] says, "It's about giving people a choice. They don't have to date on their computer. They can date on their handset, it's all about letting people decide what path is best for them." [5]

Of late, it is common to see online dating websites providing webcam chats between members to make dating even more convenient than ever. In addition, as the online dating population becomes larger, sites with specific demographics are becoming more popular as a way to narrow the pool of potential matches.

Some sites cater to people with special interests (e.g. sports fans, nerds), professions, political preferences, ethnic groups, conditions (e.g. HIV+, obese), or religions.

Problems with Online Dating Services

There can be a variety of problems with using online dating sites. Some sites expect members to sign up "blind", eHarmony for example, with no preview of the type of profiles they will get to see. On other sites, some profiles are not actually real people, but "bait" put there by the site owners to attract new paying members. Both Yahoo Personals and Match.com have received several complaints of this tactic. Some users spam sites with "fake" profiles that are in reality advertisements to other services, such as prostitution or multi-level marketing. A majority of dating sites keep profiles online for months or even years since the last time the person has logged in, thereby making it seem as though they have more available members than they actually do. Many sites offer the option to sort search results based on activity, however.

Most members are enticed to join dating websites with free or low-priced "trial" memberships advertised on many other websites. These trial memberships lack many of the features of the full membership, including the ability to contact other members or reply to e-mail from other members. On sites which require credit card information to join at all, these trial memberships often automatically become full memberships at the end of the trial period and charge the full monthly fee, without any additional action from the member and regardless of whether the member has actually used the services or not. For paying members, it is often unclear whether a potential contact has a full subscription and whether he or she will be able to reply at all.

Even when members' profiles are "real", there is still an inherent lack of trust with other members. Many members misrepresent themselves by telling flattering 'white lies' about their height, weight and age, or using old or misleading photos. Members can, of course, ask for an up-to-date photograph before meeting others. Online predators find online dating sites especially attractive, because such sites give them an unending supply of new targets of opportunity for Internet fraud.

Matrimonials Sites are a variant of online dating sites, and these are geared towards meeting people for the purpose of getting married. Gross misrepresentation is less likely on these sites than on 'casual dating' sites. Casual dating sites are often geared more towards short term (and implicitly sexual) relationships.

Source : http://en.wikipedia.org